Let's make a Family!
by NekoMataDemon
Summary: It's Christmas eve and the nine vampires have nothing to do, not until they play family that is. What kind of drama will a boobless aunty, mini-daddy, gran-gran, rapist uncle, and many more stir up? R&R pls, Enjoy!


Let's make a Family! 

"It's snowing outside." Aido looked gloomily out the window. There was nothing to do at the moon dorm but sleep and drink blood tablets.

The nine vampires were in the main room doing their regular routine.

"Let's play a game. I'm tired of bumming around." Yuki sat up from Kaname's shoulder.

Kain yawned. He just woke up from his cat nap. "We have been bumming around all year." He said sarcastically.

That was true. The whole year, the vampires did nothing but go to class and slack off. It became such a habit that Rima started complaining she gained 2 lbs. on just sitting on the couch and eating pocky all day. Same goes with Ruka. She got into the habit of demanding Kain to do all her needs like giving her a manicure. Ichijo constantly ordered manga from the internet and now has a pile of books in the living room corner.

"Christmas is tomorrow by the way…Yuki buy me a present!" Aido demanded.

The brown haired pureblood gritted he teeth. "Do I look like your mother to you?"

"Yeah because aren't you purebloods supposed to take care of us pathetic vampires?"

The other non-pureblood vampires flinched at the word 'pathetic'.

"Aido if you don't shut up, I will send you to your room." Kaname glared.

Suddenly Yuki jumped up from her seat. "I HAVE AN IDEA, LETS PLAY FAMILY!"

"Family?" The vampires mocked.

Yuki nodded. "I want to be the mother and Kaname is the father!"

Zero rolled his eyes. "That is the stupidest-"

"Zero's the rapist uncle!" Yuki pointed to the old man haired vampire.

"The hell…?"

"Ruka will be the grandpa and Kain is the Grandma!" Yuki smirked.

Ruka and Kain immediately looked at one another then at Yuki. "I can't be the grandpa! I have boobs and Kain has you know things, but then how did I create you?"

Yuki snickered. "You made me on the weekends." She smiled proudly.

"Oh lord…" Kain murmured.

"So, is Zero your brother?" Ruka asked.

Yuki nodded. "He's my brother."

Ruka's eyes widened. _That means this rebel is my…my…SON?_ _IMPOSSIBLE! My good looks plus Kain's hotness produced him!_

"Sup, mini-daddy." Zero smirked.

"You want to get sliced?" She hissed.

Yuki continued. "Rima and Shiki will be my children! Rima is the baby sister and Shiki is the 6 year old brother."

The two models looked at her expressionless. "Does that mean I get pocky whenever I want?" Rima asked.

"I literally spoil you kids." Yuki winked. ", But you have to stay in character."

The two nodded.

"Aido and Ichijo will be…" Yuki thought for a moment. "Aido will be the aunt and Ichijo the uncle! Let us have Ichijo be Kaname's brother."

Ichijo nodded. He liked the sound of that. On the other hand, Aido didn't like the news of being a woman.

"Hey Yuki, there is no way I can be the aunt. I don't have boobs." Aido scratched his head.

Ruka snorted. "Don't complain. I'm the grandpa and I don't have a…" She pointed down to the 'thing'.

"Don't worry Aido; you can be the aunt with no boobs." Yuki laughed.

Aido's mouth drops. Ichijo couldn't stop laughing.

"Okay then, here is the story. Kaname is a swim suit model and I'm the wife that constantly takes money out of her husbands' account. I have two kids, Ruka is the grandpa and Kain is the grandma (mother and father of Yuki and Zero), Zero is my brother but also a rapist uncle that rapes little kids-"

"Hold on a second! I'm a pedophile?" Zero said in disbelief.

Kaname shook his head. "You are a sick man."

"Yes brother, you have become a pedo." Yuki stayed in character. She continued. "Aido is married to Ichijo. Aido is the boobless aunty and Ichijo is the uncle but also Kaname's brother. So that's the story of our family. Let us begin."

"Mommy, I want pocky." Rima demanded more then asked. She felt awkward saying 'mommy' because it was not how she acted.

Yuki nodded and pulled out a box of pocky from her bag. "Here you go dear."

"Yay!" Rima cheered. Before she could open the box, Aido snatched the box from her.

"Give that back boobless aunty!" Rima screeched.

Aido then got to close to her face and said," You want it, you want this?" He stuck his tongue out at Rima.

Rima then grabbed boobless auntie's hair and growled," If you don't give me that back, I'll pull you hair so hard, your grandkids will be screaming 'bloody murder'."

"Eeep!" Aido squirmed.

Shiki raised his hand and said," Go Wima!"

Aido returned the pocky box and turned to Yuki. "You have aggressive children!"

Yuki went up to Rima and hugged her. "That's why I love them." She grinned.

"It's like 'daughter from hell'. Did you see how she looked at me?" Aido whimpered.

Rima bit into one pocky. "I'll kick your ass to hell."

"Ahahaha, it looks like my wife's going to pee his pants!" Ichijo laughed.

Ruka then said, "Who wants to go give grandpa a manicure?"

No answer.

"What about you, son of mine?" Ruka gave Zero the fakest smile.

Zero looked at his mother then rolled his eyes. "No thanks. I'll pass 'mom'." Zero said 'mom' halfheartedly.

Ruka's eyebrows twitched. "Listen to your mother, idiot boy. Do my nails."

"Unless you want me to make them look like Godzilla's nails, I'd recommend you have gran-gran do them." Zero referred gran-gran to Kain.

The two glared at one another intently.

"This doesn't seem like a happy family." Kain snickered.

Yuki clapped her hands together. "Okay, Rima and Shiki, time for lunch!"

"Lunch?" The models didn't know this pretend family would involve 'lunch time'.

Yuki nodded. "I can't let my two adorable children starve."

"I think she's over thinking this." Ichijo held in his chuckle.

"For lunch, you two will drink your blood tablets." Yuki handed them each a glass of tablet water (already have blood tablets in them).

The models winced at the drink and said. "Do we hab to dwink this?" The two slurred their words.

"Yes, unless you want to suck the life out of one another then I would recommend you to 'dwink' this now." Yuki patted the two on the head.

Rima and Shiki looked at each other. "That's fine wit me."

"No no no no no! Drink your tablets!" Yuki stopped them before they could sink their fangs into one another.

Ichijo and Zero were laughing at the way Yuki handled the situation. This family thing didn't seem like a bad idea. It was funny and also watching Yuki be a parent was somewhat amusing.

"I don't want to dwink this. Gib me pocky!" Rima said stubbornly. Shiki nodded too. He didn't want to drink this stale drink.

Yuki winced at the two. "No, after you finish drinking this, I'll give you pocky."

The models glared at Yuki who could care less. "We hate you mommy."

Kaname, being the good pretend dad he could be, decided to step in. "Hey kids, listen to your mother."

"We hate you too daddy." But the two drank the water anyway in fear of their father more than their mother.

Zero decided to have some fun too. "Alright kiddos, who do I rape first?" He stared at Rima and Shiki. Zero was a pedophile anyway.

"Don't you dare touch my babies!" Yuki slapped her brother.

Zero started to laugh. "Those kids of yours don't even like you anyway. Forcing them to drink tablet water, what kind of a sick mother are you? Hey kids, come with Uncle Zero and I have loads of candy in the car."

"Kids don't listen to that bastard. Remember what mommy told you? Strangers who offer candy are the strange ones." Yuki said it loud enough so Zero could hear.

"Stranger? I'm their uncle."

"You wanted to offer them candy so you can lure them to your hide out and rape them. I demand a restraining order!" Yuki stuck a tongue out at Zero.

Ichijo stepped in. "Hey your favorite uncle is here! Boobless aunty and I brought my favorite niece and nephew pocky!"

Rima and Shiki ran to Ichijo. "Look at who has the kids now! You mad bro, you mad?"

Suddenly Gran-gran and mini-daddy grabbed Rima and Shiki away. "I believe we can take care of them. My good looks and Kain's hotness can overpower all of you!"

"Good looks my butt. If you call that good looks, than I must be the hottest hot, hot, boobless aunty ever!" Aido joked.

Yuki coughed at Aido's comment. "Ah, I have to go Christmas shopping for you guys!"

"Why Christmas shopping all of a sudden?" Ichijo asked.

Yuki shrugged. "I don't know. Just for fun, husband will you come with me?"

Kaname nodded and the two left.

"Well that was unexpected."

It was Christmas morning and the game of family ended long ago. The vampires were in the living room waiting Yuki's 'important' news. When the pureblood skipped down the grand stairs with a huge bag, everyone got all excited. Presents!

Yuki handed each and every one of the seven vampires a present.

Rima and Shiki opened their present and I think you can guess what it was a load of pocky. Ruka got a package of O.P.I nail polish. Zero received some amazing colored condoms. Ichijo got a whole series of Maid-sama manga, Kaname was given a terribly knitted scarf made hand craft from her heart (She worked hard on it), and Kain received red fuzzy socks.

"Yuki, tell me, why the hell did you give me condoms?" Zero waved the package around her face.

Yuki stuck her tongue out. "I was afraid you might become a pedophile and rape innocent children one day, so I want you to not make anyone pregnant."

"Awww, Yuki, I love the scarf" Kaname wrapped the horribly knitted scarf around his neck.

Zero decided to comment. "He's lying like a dog. That crap is ug- OOOF!"

Kaname elbowed the old man haired vampire in the stomach before he could say anything unnecessary.

"YAY POCKY!" The models cheered and devoured their present.

Ruka admired her present by having Kain giving her a manicure. Kain, of course, wore his fussy red socks in respect. Ichijo sat down near the fire place and started to read the very first volume of Maid-sama.

Last but not least, Aido received his present. It was nicely wrapped around blue wrapping paper.

"You are going to love your present Aido." Yuki winked.

Aido immediately opened it and there he found a bumpy black substance.

"Aido, you got coal." Ruka peaked over his shoulder.

Aido looked at Ruka. "This isn't coal. I bet it's some kind of cookie."

"Uhhh, I doubt THAT'S a cookie." Kain stared at the substance.

"I bet it is. Yuki's trying to be cute. Thanks for the cookie Yuki!"

Yuki gave Aido the strangest look. "Aido, that's co-"

Before the female pureblood could finish her sentence, Aido took a big bite out of it.

"Oh my gosh! He ate it!" Ichijo busted out laughing.

Everyone stared at Aido to see what he would do next.

"$%^&^%&&$%&&%#%^$#!%&^#!&&^%$!#$%^#$^#$%%" Aido's immediately spit out the coal from his mouth.

"I told you that was coal…" Ruka snickered.

Aido ran to the restroom to rinse his mouth. "I think I'm going to go check for led poisoning…"

Aido's a vampire so everyone doubts he will get led poisoning.

Everyone spent their Christmas actually doing something. Moreover, Aido had a hard time removing bits of coal residue from his mouth. It was clear the vampires will be doing something like this often over the years.

_**The End C:**_

**Herro guys! I hope you enjoyed this story! I had the best time with my sister thinking about ideas to add to "Let's make a Family"! We laughed so much and I hope you guys did too! HOPE YOU HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS! C:**

**To all of you who don't know Maid-sama, I would recommend you guys reading it! It involves Humor, drama, romance, and etc.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! Even if this story is like 2 years old, I love to read the reviews you guys write! Thanks!**

**PLEASE REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! **


End file.
